Tis The Season

I still can't believe that the year is almost over! Where has this year gone? There have been many things that have been happening this year here for us, and they have been great. We have you to thank for that.

 

Since this will be our last newsletter for the year, and according to some, the last Christmas we will have (Damn you, Mayans! - we will be talking about you again on 12/22/12), we wanted to share some holiday tips with you.

 

1. If you must drive, don't drink. But if you must drink, don't drive. We want to see you again next year.
2. When out doing your last minute shopping, be aware of your surroundings while walking back out to your vehicle.
3. Do not leave packages in plain sight while shopping. You don't want to give anyone a reason to break into your vehicle to take those presents you just bought with your hard earned money (just send the money my way...I'll give you my deposit info if you email me :)
4. If you have a natural Christmas tree, make sure to keep it watered. A 3" trunk requires at least 1 gallon of water per day. "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire..." is means the fireplace, not the whole house.
5. Make sure you check all your Christmas lights for any signs of fraying. Exposed wires are not a good thing, especially if you forgot to water the tree.
6. Since we all love our families, and spending time together with them during this time of year is a joy for everyone since they are all sane, leave all arguments back at home.
7. If you absolutely must get into a fight, make sure that you leave before the cops get there (just kidding! Don't get into the fight...)
8. Remember, every day is not only a blessing, but also a gift. Do not take those you love for granted today for they may not be there tomorrow.
9. No gift is too small. Sometimes the best gifts that we ever get are not the ones that are bought, but the ones that are given with the greatest gift of all...pure, unadulterated love (think about the homemade gift that your child made for you, or you made for your parents...get it?)

 

From all of us to all of you, thank you for all that you have done and continue to do.

 

Have a Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year!

 

Bryan

Duty Gear for Correctional Officers

Boy have I been busy!! This is always a good thing, but then again, it depends on what you have been busy with. It has been great!!

Over the last few weeks I have been thinking as to why I started Dydrostorm and what the mission statement is. The Mission Statement is easy: To provide quality gear at an affordable price for those that protect and serve our community.

Now, having worked in the Law Enforcement/Corrections field since 1994 I'm very aware that we will never get rich in this line of work. We don't do the job we do for the money. We do it for the satisfaction of a job well done at the end of the day. When it comes down to disposable income, we say "huh?" We really don't know what it is. For most of us, whatever duty gear that we have has either been provided to us by our agency (if you're lucky) or we have had to buy it ourselves. This usually means that we look around, check out the prices, save for it, and then when we go to buy it we hope that they didn't raise the price.

I brainstormed for a few days and asked myself one question: What does a Correctional Officer need, as a bare minimum, for duty gear to work inside a prison? Four things came to mind:

1. Kevlar Tactical Gloves
2. Handcuff Case
3. O.C. Case (Large or Small case)
4. Latex Glove Pouch

And so was born the Corrections Bare Necessities Package ($44.99 plus $10 shipping MSRP - $62.46). This is the bare minimum someone would need.

There are other items Correctional Officers need: Duty belt, belt keepers, key holder, flashlight, flashlight holder and a radio pouch/case but depending on personal preference, some people don't use them or want them.

A total of 5 packages were created: Corrections Bare Necessities Package, Corrections / Security Basic Duty Gear Package, Corrections / Security Premium Duty Gear, Corrections / Security Deluxe Duty Gear and Corrections / Security Ultra Deluxe Duty Gear.


The Corrections / Security Basic Duty Gear Package ($74.99 plus $10 shipping MSRP - $100.43) includes:
1. Kevlar Tactical Gloves
2. O.C. Case (Large or Small case)
3. Handcuff Case
4. Latex Glove Pouch
5. Duty Belt
6. Belt Keepers
7. Silent Key Holder

The Corrections / Security Premium Duty Gear Package ($99.99 plus free shipping MSRP - $134.91) includes:
1. Kevlar Tactical Gloves
2. O.C. Case (Large or Small case)
3. Handcuff Case
4. Latex Glove Pouch
5. Duty Belt
6. Belt Keepers
7. Silent Key Holder
8. 12-Bulb LED Flashlight
9. Flashlight Holder

I have seen a similar package for $98.95 but it did not include the flashlight or Kevlar tactical gloves.

The Corrections / Security Deluxe Duty Gear ($109.99 plus free shipping MSRP - $152.40) includes:

1. Kevlar Tactical Gloves
2. O.C. Case (Large or Small case)
3. Handcuff Case
4. Latex Glove Pouch
5. Duty Belt
6. Belt Keepers
7. Silent Key Holder
8. 12-Bulb LED Flashlight
9. Flashlight Holder
10. Universal Radio Holder

The Corrections / Security Ultra Deluxe Duty Gear ($134.99 plus free shipping MSRP - $177.40) includes:

1. Kevlar Tactical Gloves
2. Enhanced Molded O.C. Case (Large) or regular Nylon Small O.C. Case
3. Enhanced Molded Handcuff Case
4. Deluxe Latex Glove Pouch
5. Triple Retention Duty Belt
6. Belt Keepers
7. Enhanced Molded Silent Key Holder
8. 12-Bulb LED Flashlight
9. Flashlight Holder
10. Universal Radio Holder


I have yet to see a better deal ANYWHERE!

Now go forth and BE SAFE!!

Training Your Mind

For the last few days I have been in a turkey-induced comatose state (just like most of us have been) and it got me thinking today: working in either Law Enforcement or Corrections we know that we have to physically prepare ourselves for any situation that may arise. We train physically so that our bodies can sustain the pressures of our chosen profession. Unfortunately, many of us do not train our minds as well.

It takes the average person 1000 repetitions of doing something for it to become muscle memory. In other words, we don't have to think about what we are going to do, we just do it. But when it comes down to our minds, do we really do the same thing?

While it is true that most of us do not have the time to sit there and practice our response to a scenario 1000 times, nothing says that we can't think about what are response will be when we are faced with a situation. Think about the amount of time that we have to think throughout the course of our day: in the shower, cooking (or waiting for our order at the drive thru), waiting in line, driving (not so safe but we still do it anyway), in the bathroom...

We have the time to think about what are response will be to any situation that we can come up with. Most of us will never be Bruce Lee so we can forget anything that is going to involve a lot of complicated moves unless we have the time to physically practice. The Inverted-U Hypothesis states, in a nutshell, that as our stress levels (arousal) increase, our fine motor skill will decrease and is therefore detrimental to our performance. What do we have left then? Gross motor skills.

If we repeatedly practice just a few simple responses to situations that do not involve fine motor skills, our performance during times of increased stress will improve thereby increasing our chances of survival. This also applies to our mental exercises. If we repeatedly think about the same adequate response to a certain situation, eventually you will not have to think about "what will I do," you will just do. Just remember the KISS principle: Keep It Simple, Stupid.

When it takes an average person 1.5 seconds to close a 21' gap, do you really have 1.5 seconds to think about what you will do as a response and take action? Guess how long it takes that average person to see something, recognize it as a threat, formulate a response and put it into action? Yep, 1.5 seconds.

I know I don't have the time to think about it. Do you really do?

I want to know what you think!

Some of the Benefits of Kevlar Tactical Gloves

Thinking that any pair of gloves will protect those little sausages attached to your hands is the same as thinking that a pair of tennis shoes will protect your little piggies in a steel factory...it just isn't going to happen.

Kevlar was developed by DuPont in 1965 and was first commercially used in the 1970's as a replacement to steel in racing tires. Since then the uses of Kevlar have expanded and continue to do so to this day. It can be made into yarn, fiber, paper and building material for home/commercial construction. The real limitation is the human mind.

Law Enforcement first saw this wonderful material used in bullet proof vests. Although there had been "bullet proof vests" prior to 1976 (medieval Japanese used heavily reinforced silk garments as soft body armor), it wasn't until the late 19th century that the U.S. started to see soft body armor. Flak Jackets in the 40's, 50's and 60's were a great addition to the military when under fire but it was not only too bulky for every day law enforcement use, but too expensive.

So, how many people do you think would shoot themselves because they truly believed in their product? Richard Davis sure did. His company Second Chance has been a leader in soft body armor since the 1970's.



Do you think he is nuts? I don't. He knew what he had and he believed in it. He didn't just say, "hey, this works!" he said "let me show you how it works." Talk about testicular fortitude!

When it comes down to our hands, it is just as important to protect them. Kevlar Tactical Gloves does just that. They protect your hands. With the likelihood that we will be cut during a pat/strip search, or searching an area, or having to defend ourselves against someone who has a weapon is extremely real. Check out this review and demonstration of a pair of kevlar tactical gloves:




See what I mean? If you don't use protection you may find yourself in trouble. There are some added benefits as well to kevlar tactical gloves. They can be used not just in law enforcement, but every day life. If you work with sharp objects you can use them. Many of the styles out there on kevlar tactical gloves are also heat resistant or fire resistant as well.

Use protection! If steel workers all wear safety toed boots, why don't we all wear kevlar tactical gloves?

What's your excuse?

Things To Be Grateful For

Looking back on this year I can say that for me, personally, has been a really tough. On the flip side, it has also been an amazing year. Between starting my own business after thinking about it for years and getting married to an absolutely amazing woman, how could it not be amazing? There are so many things that we can all be grateful for and the best part is that we don't even have to look them.

The safety of my fellow brothers and sisters in the law enforcement and military community has always my primary concern. I understand that we do not, and will never, make the kind of money that will get us rich as long as we stay in this line of work. We do not put our lives on the line every day for the money or glory. We do it because we love what we do and like they say, someone has to do it. We do not get positive public recognition, especially in corrections.

I decided to open Dydrostorm.com not because I wanted to get rich, but because I wanted to find a way to help my uniformed family out. Their safety, as I mentioned earlier, is my primary concern. By profession, I'm an instructor. I pride myself in teaching fellow officers how to protect themselves and become better at what they do. Whether it be by the use of their bodies or weapons, but also with the right type of equipment such as Kevlar Tactical Gloves, the right pair of Discounted Tactical Boots, knives, and probably the most important tool that they have: their brain.

There are many other things that I am thankful for, but being able to give back to those that already give so much is what I pride myself the most with, outside of my biological family.

You are all my family...

I want to hear from you, what are you thankful for?

Why I chose to work in corrections

There are some jobs that some people never want to do due to the nature of the job. Corrections is one of them.

It takes a certain type of individual to rise to the occasion. You go in and may not come out. You either live or die based on your words or actions. You deal with the worst of the worst on a daily basis and hopefully go home to your family at the end of the day.

For me, I chose to walk where many dare not go and tragically, not be recognized by society for doing so. If you never hear my name mentioned in the media, your welcome, I did my job so you can live in peace and safety.

Thank you to all my bothers and sisters out there. Stay safe.

Fire Safety in a Correctional Setting

One of the most, if not the most, dangerous situations in a correctional setting is a fire. Our nation’s correctional facilities, for the most part, are constructed of steel, concrete and bricks. Windows either do not open or are designed to open very little due to security concerns and our mandate of providing public safety. Natural ventilation is greatly reduced. As a result of these building designs, what we have is either a chimney or an oven that we work in.

There are safeguards built in with the building design such as sprinklers and hose reels/fire hoses as well as fire extinguishers available for use throughout the facilities and it is imperative that we know not only where they are located, but how to use them effectively as well.

A fire that starts in one area of a correctional facility can spread relatively slowly based on the location and fuel available, but the smoke will spread much faster. Those that have perished as a result of a fire in a correctional facility have not died from burning, but from smoke inhalation.

Let’s take a look at some of the basic components of a fire.

Fire Tetrahedron and Classes of Fire:

We have all heard about the Fire Triangle: fuel, oxygen and heat. However, for a fire to develop, it must have 4 elements: fuel, oxygen, heat and a chemical chain reaction. These four elements are known as the Fire Tetrahedron.

Solids and liquids, in its natural state, will not burn as a flame. It is the combination of the heat and oxygen that will take the solid/liquid and transform it through a chemical chain reaction into a gas that will in turn burn as a flame.

Picture this: you light a candle (or bon fire) and watch the flame. When you are looking at the flame you will notice that the flame itself is not touching wick (or log). What is burning is the gas that is just above that is the result of the chemical chain reaction. Same principle applies to a liquid. If we interfere with any of the four parts of the fire tetrahedron the fire will be extinguished.

Classes of Fire

Class A: A Class A fire is comprised of ordinary combustibles. Wood, paper, plastics and even human bodies are all examples of a Class A fire. This class can be extinguished with water.

Class B: A Class B fire is comprised of flammable liquids/oils. Either a class ABC fire extinguisher or BC fire extinguisher can be used to combat the fire. Smothering the fire in order to take away the oxygen can also be done.

 Class C: A Class C fire is comprised of energized electrical equipment (it has to have a current going through it). Either a class ABC or BC fire extinguisher can be utilized to combat the fire. If you remove the power source (unplug the item, flip the breaker, etc) it will change the class of fire from a Class C to a Class A (unplug burning fan and you now have burning plastic).

 Class D: A Class D fire is comprised of combustible metals and combustible metal alloys. This class of fire can only be put out by a Class D fire extinguisher (Type I: Sodium Chloride or Type II: Copper based dry powder)

Class K: Class K fires are fires that involve vegetable oils, animal oils, or fats in cooking appliances. This is for commercial kitchens, including those found in restaurants, cafeterias, and caterers.

So why do offenders start fires? There are multiple reasons why offenders start fires. Some of these are:

• Harass staff – Do I need to say more?
• Aid in an escape – Starting a fire in one area of a facility will attract staff attention there therefore exposing another section of the facility.
• Suicide – Some offenders will start a fire in order to commit suicide
• Riot – Fires are a normal part of a riot. It creates havoc by destroying property and diverting the attention of responding staff to the area of the fire in order for the rioters to achieve their primary goal (murder, retaliation against other offenders, etc)
• Pyromaniac/Arson – Some offenders just like fire and use it to their amusement

How Offenders Start Fires Without a Flame

There are many ways in which an offender can start a fire without a flame. Some of the most common methods include steel wool, eyeglasses, batteries, pencils, friction and chemicals.

Steel Wool:

An offender can start a fire by using steel wool in conjunction with a battery. Take the steel wool and attach some of it to the positive end of the battery along with the negative end of the battery and enough heat will be created to start a fire. A paper product must also be used with this method.

Eyeglasses:

Eyeglasses can be used as a magnifying glass in conjunction with the sun in order to start a fire. Just think about what we did as kids…same principle.

 Batteries:

Batteries, in conjunction with either steel wool or razor blades can be used to start a fire. When used with razor blades, it will require two batteries and two razor blades. Once the connection is made between both razor blades, enough heat is generated to start a fire or light a cigarette.

 Pencils:

Break a pencil open and remove the graphite lead core. Insert a piece in of the lead in both sides of an outlet and attach a third piece to a small rope made out of twisted toilet paper. Lower the third piece onto the two pieces that are protruding from the outlet and this will close the circuit causing the toilet paper to catch on fire. When soap is gently rubbed onto the toilet paper, it creates a nice long burning wick that can be used for extended periods.

Friction:

Some offenders are former military with survival training as well as others that were boy scouts. Give them some wood and it is survival 101 for them.

Chemicals:

In most correctional facilities it will be the offenders that do all the janitorial work. This will involve the use of chemicals. An offender that has the knowledge can find a way to mix the right amount of chemicals and of which types in order to create a fire, or worse, a bomb. This is one of the reasons why chemicals are so tightly controlled within correctional facilities. 

 There are other ways in which offenders can start fires that may be more complex but the ones listed here are just the most common ones.

 Fire Suppression vs. Evacuation

 There is a fine line between when you go from fire suppression to evacuation. Our job is to maintain offenders in specific locations for periods of time. Whether they are in the housing area (cell or dorm), at work, education, recreation or dinning area, our responsibility is to keep them safe and in that particular area for a predetermined amount of time. They are not permitted to come and go as they please.

So how do we know when we have to evacuate them from a specific location when a fire breaks out? For the most part, it will be a judgment call. There is no specific set standard as to when to try to put the fire out and when you get every one out of the area. What I teach is “if you can’t get it put out with one fire extinguisher, get out!”

Make sure that you know your agency’s policy regarding fire prevention and evacuation routes by heart and follow them every time.

To understand at what point we go from fire suppression to evacuation we must first understand the stages of a fire.

There are 5 stages to a fire:

1. Incipient
2. Growth
3. Flashover
4. Fully Developed
5. Hot Smoldering

 Incipient:

 This is the initial stage of a fire. During this stage the fuel, oxygen, heat and chemical chain reaction combine to start the fire.

Growth:

 During this stage the fire is starting to gain momentum by consuming the fuel that is available to it. Temperature in the area starts to increase until it reaches the flashover point (800-1200 degrees depending on the type of fuel present)

Flashover:

The flashover is the most dangerous stage of a fire. During this stage the atmospheric temperature has increased to the point that all fuel present in the area will burst into flames. Firefighters are killed every year during flashovers.

Fully Developed:

 During the fully developed stage all available fuel is burning simultaneously. Temperatures exceed 1100 degrees in the area and the toxic atmosphere is lethal.

Hot Smoldering:

 During this stage all fuel is nearly consumed. Visible flames are no longer present and all we have left is charred remains in a smoldering state. The fire may start grow again if more fuel or oxygen is introduced.

 It is imperative that if you are going to attempt to put a fire out it be done no later than the beginning portion of the growth stage. Remember, if you can not put the fire out with one fire extinguisher, get out!

Special Considerations:

 There are special considerations that we must take into account when dealing with a fire in a correctional setting. These include location of the fire, toxic atmospheres and backdrafts. 

• Location. We are going to deal with a fire differently in a recreation yard differently than we would in a dinning area, cellblock, open dorm style housing area or in a cell. Building design will be key in how to combat the fire.
• Toxic atmosphere. Depending on what material is burning you may have chemicals such as cyanide, PCB, dioxins, etc in the atmosphere as a result of the fire. If the fire is located in a chemical storage room, do not attempt to put the fire out. Your primary goal in this instance is evacuate.

• Backdrafts. This is the most dangerous of all. A backdraft occurs when the oxygen in the area has been reduced to the point that it can no longer sustain a visible flame. However, the gases inside the area as well as the atmospheric temperature remain higher than the flash point. If oxygen is re-introduced an explosion may/will occur. So how do you know if a backdraft is possible? Look for the warning signs.

 Warning signs of a backdraft: 

1. The surrounding environment will be extremely hot
2. Puffs of yellow/brown are wafting out from under door or small openings and getting sucked back in
3. Windows appear black or brown when viewed from the outside
4. Doors or windows are rattling
5. Soot is present on the inside of the window and in cracks

 What to do in case of a fire

 Now that we have covered the basics, what do you do if you have a fire in your area of responsibility? First thing first:

• Notify everyone that you have a fire.
• Make sure that you provide location of the fire (be specific) as well as the class of fire (this will ensure proper fire suppression equipment is utilized).
• NEVER attempt to put out a fire before letting someone know where you are
• If you must evacuate, use the primary evacuation route as specified at your facility. If the primary evacuation route is not available, use the secondary evacuation route. Most agency policies will state that a supervisor may not contradict an evacuation route/decision unless they are present at the scene. Life safety must come first.
• If an offender(s) refuse to evacuate, make a note of their location and continue the evacuation of everyone else. The lives of many others far outweigh the lives of a few.

Equipment:

When it comes down to what equipment to use, you must be very familiar with what equipment is available at your facility. There will be fire extinguishers within easy access to everyone and located appropriately. There may even be fire hoses available for use. Make sure that you are familiar with this equipment and its proper use.

Make it a habit to check your fire suppression equipment every day while working. If there is a fire extinguisher, check the pressure gauge to ensure that it is charged. Also check the hose and inspect it for cracks and dry rot. Look inside the nozzle for any obstructions. Give the hose a turn to ensure that it has not become loose thereby not allowing for proper operation. If there are any defects or deficiencies with the fire extinguisher, notify a supervisor so that it can be taken care of.

If there is a fire hose (either on a reel or in a cabinet) make sure that you know how to use it. It is imperative that you not only inspect it on a daily basis for deficiencies, but that you also know the maximum length of the hose.

Another item to keep in mind is a pair of Kevlar Tactical Gloves. Most Kevlar Tactical Gloves are not only cut resistant, but they are also heat/flame resistant. Having a pair of Kevlar Tactical Gloves available to you may allow you to grab onto something that is too hot to handle with your bare hands. Kevlar Tactical Gloves will offer you some added protection in the case of a fire for a limited amount of time. It might be that the Kevlar Tactical Gloves gave you just the time that you needed in order to get everyone out.

As correctional professionals our primary mandate is to provide public safety. A close second is life safety to visitors/volunteers, staff and offenders and it is done in that order: public, visitors/volunteers, staff and offender. Performing security checks is an essential function of what we do every day.

It is as a result of security checks that we can prevent fires, suicides, assaults (physical and sexual) and maintain order and discipline within our institutions. Remember that we are not fire fighters. We are correctional professionals. Even if you happen to be a fire fighter on the outside, while on the inside, you are a correctional officer and your primary responsibility is the safety of the individuals inside, not the fire.

How do you cope?

In these days of hard economic times too many people are loosing everything that they have worked their lives for. Whether it be their house, vehicle or job it is something that they have worked hard for. It is hard for people to not fall into a depression. How can this have happened? No matter how hard you work it still gets taken away from you, no matter how hard you try to hold on to it.

Battling depression is something that millions of people do every day. Some people suffer from depression that is so deep seeded that they have no choice but to resort to outside help, including medication. For some of them, the social stigma that goes along with medication that they become even more depressed. Others are fortunate enough that have the coping skills to deal with life's ups and downs that do not have to resort to medication.

We have all been depressed about something in our lives before. It could have been the loss of a loved one, a relationship that ended, or the loss of a job. How we deal with it is what is important. Two sayings that come to mind are "There is always a light at the end of the tunnel" and "God will not give us more than we can handle." Sometimes even I doubt that this is the case but I have always been proven wrong.

Some people cope by spending time outdoors. It could be camping, hiking, bird watching or just enjoying the fresh air. Others enjoy reading a book or spending time with family. Maybe you vent your frustrations by going into the kitchen and and whipping something up just for the hell of it!

For me, I love to cook and spend time with my family. You can take everything away from me but as long as I have my family, I am the richest man on Earth.

I want to hear from you. What kind of coping mechanisms do you have?

Stress in the Law Enforcement Community

For those of us in the law enforcement community one of the biggest problems that we face on a daily basis is stress. Stress from the job, from home, from deadlines and many other internal and external stressors. So what are some of the ways that we can combat this evil force?

Before we delve into this serious problem, we must first understand where it comes from and how we normally deal with it. People have been dealing with stress for ages and we all deal with it in many different way. Stress is the wear and tear on our bodies as the direct result of  both internal and external factors in our daily lives. Internal stressors can be family issues or other internal issues that we may or may not have direct control over. External stressors can be problems with neighbors, friends, financial problems and other issues that we may not have direct control over.

How do we deal with stress? It is lamentable that some people suffer from so much stress that it will lead to a severe case of clinical depression, and as a result, turn to suicide as a way to escape this unbearable pain that they feel.

Stress can also lead to a series of other serious issues such as:

• chronic pain
• heart disease 
• high blood pressure
• drug/alcohol abuse
• divorce
• high turnover rates at work
• increase in leave usage

We have all suffered from stress at some point in time or another. We have also been depressed about something throughout our lives. The person that says that they have never suffered from either is only lying to themselves. Stress can be either a positive event or a negative event. Examples of stress as a positive event would be a wedding (unless the bride is bridezilla), a birth or a promotion. We can all think of examples of negative stress.

Stress can also provide some positive outputs:

• Gives us energy. Some people, when stressed, will find a way to expel all the energy that they have built up inside.  Whether its cleaning house, rearranging furniture, cleaning out garage, we find that we get to it and get it done even if we didn't have the predisposition to do it in the first place.
• Communication.  Stress can open up lines of communication that may have not otherwise opened up. We feel the need to talk about what it is that is bothering us and lets it all out in the open. Even if we have short-term negative effects from this, the end result is almost always positive.
• Determination. Sometimes stress will give us a determination that we may not have experienced before. We want to prove that the stressor will not overpower our will to succeed. Nothing makes me more determined to succeed than someone telling me that I can't do something or that it can't be done.

Combat the Stress

There are many ways to combat stress. Here are some tips:

• if the cause is something that you have no control over, and can't do anything to change it, don't let it get to you. Let it go.
• Have a hobby. No matter what you choose to do as a hobby, be faithful to it. It could be as simple as reading a good book, cooking, bird watching, it's your choice what you want to do.
• Get plenty of rest. If you wake up in the morning and don't want to get out of bed, you're not getting enough. Go to bed 30 minutes earlier and see if that helps.
• Have a nightly routine. Read a book, take a bath, watch TV, write in a journal. Your choice as long as you do it on a regular basis.
• Get some exercise. We all have time to get a little exercise done. This does not mean that you need to go to the gym. A walk around the neighborhood will do. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Walk a little faster at work. Park a little farther away from the entrance. Its simple little things that we can do to improve ourselves. Make sure that it is something that you enjoy doing so that it doesn't feel  like work. Exercise 15-30 minutes 3 times a week will do the trick.
• Become involved in community events. Whether it is through your church or another social group, become involved. The self-satisfaction that we get when we do something for someone else is very gratifying and a great stress relief method.
• Communicate. Talk with your loved ones. Don't shut them out of your life. The moment that we shut them out is the moment that we start to loose them. Too many Law Enforcement Officers have had their lives torn apart through divorce due to a lack of communication.

This is only the tip of the iceberg. How do you deal with stress?

Change: Either you're on the bus or you're not.

I was trying to figure out what I wanted to write about this week and was at an impasse. I had been mulling some ideas over about events that had occurred throughout the week and it hit me on Thursday while I was teaching a class. We were talking about contraband interdiction and the way that staff are searched. Man, did i open a can of worms with that one!

Correctional agencies throughout the country pretty much search offenders in the same fashion whether it be a strip search or a pat search. Regardless of the search type, it is uncomfortable to do properly. The old way of doing things are gone.

Who really wants to have their hands all over someone that you don't know? (You perverts! Get back on track here!) And better yet, who wants to see someone of the same sex naked in front of you as they show you a body that in some cases has not seen 2 great inventions (soap and water) in some time? Either way, we have a job to do.

When it comes down to pat searches, the most uncomfortable part is when you have to slide your hand along the inside of the leg all the way to the groin area. Why do we do that? Because since it is such an uncomfortable place for us to search, offenders hide their contraband there. Do we search the groin area? We  are supposed to do it with the back of our hand in order to avoid a potential sexual assault situation. Make sure that you have gloves on every time. You never know what sharp object you may find!

Unpleasant? Yes. Necessary? Absolutely!

How about when we pat search staff? Guess what! We have to do it the same way. It is unfortunate that staff introduce contraband into correctional facilities for offenders putting everyone at risk. But we have to search all staff the same way, every time. No exceptions.

If you happen to be a staff member that doesn't like to have it done to you, then this job is not for you and get out. Thank you for your service but its time to go.

With strip searches, completely naked is the name of the game. Show me everything. I'm going to go through all your possessions, because that $100 bill you have rolled up into the waist seam of your pants will not be found if I just get a handful of clothes and squeeze them to "search" them. You will show me the inside of your mouth. If your teeth come out, pop 'em out and show me them pearly whites. If you have a fake eye, guess what? You're right! Pop it out and let me see that eye socket. Prosthetic arm? Give me a hand why don't ya! That's  right, it comes off and I'm going to search it. In a nutshell, if you were not born with it, you are going to take it off so it can be searched. Don't forget the shoes. You have to stick your hand in there to search. (Gloves people, gloves!)

When I tell you to bend over and spread them, you need to do just that. The squat and cough does not work. An experienced smuggler can squat, cough and nothing will come out. If you think that it will, you are mistaken. The only way that this method will work is if they did not insert the contraband all the way in  their anus. You need to look. Every time. All the time.

Remember that offenders will do anything they possibly can to make us feel uncomfortable (no shower, dirty diaper, etc) so that we do a quick, improper search . And it is because of this, staff do not feel comfortable having to do it. They take shortcuts. Contraband enters the facility. Staff get turned. Offenders win. We loose.

Agencies are cracking down on this type of non-compliance. Dereliction of duty. Substandard performance.
If you don't like it, leave. The alternative is criminal charges, loss of job, loss of income, loss of respect, loss of integrity. There are people that want the job and are willing to do it the right way.

Change is coming. Either you're on the bus or you're not.

How do you know you love your spouse?

So how do you know that you love your spouse? For everyone I guess it's different. For me, it comes down to the following:

1. The best part of the day is when we go to bed at night and I wrap my arms around her.
2. A close second is coming home to her, or when she comes home to me.
3. Waking up next to her in the mornings
4. I can't stand when I'm not around her
5. Sitting next to her on the couch even if we are doing nothing
6. Either laying my head on her lap watching TV or when she lays her head on mine.
7. Seeing the smile in her eyes when she looks at me
8. The way I get those butterflies in my stomach when I look at her
9. Making dinner with her (or any meal)
10. Holding her hand when out in public
11. Holding her hand when we are in the car
12. The way that she lays her head on my shoulder when I'm driving
13. The way that she touches me
14. The way that she kisses me (no matter how big or little the kiss is)
15. Wanting to get up off the couch just to get her something when she says "don't worry, I'll get it in a minute
16. The way that she starts to make me something to eat when I go to the kitchen and say "I'm in the mood for something" as I'm looking for something
17. The way that I can't imagine my life without her
18. Wanting to do anything for her that she wants
19. Wanting to see her happy and smiling
20. The way she would do anything that I want
21. The way I feel when I say I Love You!
22. And most importantly, the way she makes me feel when she says she loves me...

Any others that you can think of?

I have found that it's the little things in life, and in a relationship, that matter the most. Don't let something, or someone, ever get in the way of your relationship with your spouse. Stand by them and they will stand by you. Don't take them for granted, because if you do, they will not be around much longer.

The three most powerful words a person can say in a relationship are "I LOVE YOU." Don't assume that they know it therefore you stop saying it. Tell them. Show them. Love them...

Do you know what a Leader is?

Ever wonder what a leader really is? The easy answer is "the person that's in charge" or "the boss" although sometimes this is farther from the truth.

Dictionary.com defines a leader as follow:

lead·er

 [lee-der] Show IPA

noun

1. a person or thing that leads.

2. a guiding or directing head, as of an army, movement, or political group.

3. Music .

a. a conductor or director, as of an orchestra, band, or chorus.

b. the player at the head of the first violins in an orchestra, the principal cornetist in a band, or the principal soprano in a chorus, to whom any incidental solos are usually assigned.

4. a featured article of trade, especially one offered at a low price to attract customers. Compare loss leader.

5. Journalism .

a. leading article ( def. 1 ) .

b. Also called leading article. British . the principal editorial in a newspaper.

Sounds good, doesn't it? At some point we have all had a "leader" that had no right to be in the position that they are in. They could not lead a pack of hungry lions to a zebra carcass if it was 20 feet away. Yet you have some people that will lead you to the ends of the Earth and back and are not in "the" leadership position.

So, what makes a great leader? Depending on who you ask, or where you look, the answers that you get are varied. One common theme seems to be that they are willing to listen to the people that they work with and help them achieve the success that they want through the goals that they have set for themselves.

A leader should:

• Take the time to find out how the person is doing and ask what they can do to help the them do their job better. 
• Get to know who they work with. 
• Get to know at least 3 things about that person that may not be work related. Ask them "What do you want me to know about yourself?"
• Check in with them regularly and see if they need help.
• Be sincere when doing these things. If you fake sincerity, they will know it and you will not achieve the results that you want. IT WILL BACKFIRE!

When a leader truly cares about the people that work with them, they will find that those that "follow" will do so because they want to, not because they have to. A leader will be there for them no matter what. The leader will show them a loyalty that is insurmountable not because of expectations, but because of the desire that comes from deep within them. A true leader will sometimes make the hardest decisions that will affect the "employee" but will explain why the decision was made and not just throw out "Because I'm the boss and I said so." A true leader will have "employees" that will volunteer for the worst assignment possible with a smile on their face because they know the job has to be done. A true leader will get down and dirty with them at the same time so that they never forget where they came from. 

Then again, this is just my opinion....what do you think?

Where were you?

I left the house around 8:00am to get the materials for a Fire Safety class that I was scheduled to teach at the Southeast State Correctional Facility. When I arrived at the facility, the officer at the gate asked "Did you hear?" I looked at him and said "Hear what?" His reply was one that I will never forget: "A plane just crashed into the World Trade Center!"

The rest of the day went by in a blurr. Between trying to teach a class and watching the news, I don't remember much more. The only thing that I remember is getting home, hugging my wife and holding on to my daughters and not wanting to let them go.

Where were you?

You want decadence?

So I got up this morning thinking to myself that I wanted something great to eat tonight for dinner. I couldn't figure what I wanted. I started looking around the kitchen to see what was available. I'm the kind of person that when it comes down to cooking, I just go with it. A little of this, a little of that and pray that it comes out OK.

After doing a quick recon of my available ingredients, I saw that I had all the makings for one of my favorite dishes (No idea what to call it except damn good even if it's not good for you...according to some people)

Here's what you need:

• Potatoes (cubed to your desired size)
• Bacon (as much as you want, or as little...sissy)
• Italian Seasoning (to taste)
• Salt/Pepper to taste
• Garlic (either fresh or minced, your choice)
• Either Chicken or Pork Chops in either chunks or strips..your choice (works great either one...or both!)
• Olive Oil
• BUTTER! (at least 3/4 cup, but preferably 1 cup)

This is what you do:

1. Slice the bacon into small pieces. Cook over medium heat in a skillet until brown n cruchy...not burnt!
2. Once bacon is done, remove from the skillet and let it drain a little. DO NOT remove the bacon fat from the skillet! Are you nuts???????
3. Toss in the chicken or pork  into the skillet with the bacon grease and brown on both sides until almost completely cooked. Remove from skillet and set off to the side with the bacon.
4. Put the potatoes (still uncooked) in the skillet with all that delicious bacon fat!
5. Add the butter, Olive Oil (just a small drizzle), salt/pepper (to taste), garlic(the more the better, but its up to you) and Italian Seasoning (to taste) in with the potatoes. Cover  the skillet and turn heat down to medium low. Allow to cook for approximately 12-15 minutes mixing occasionally or until potatoes are almost fork tender.
6. Add in the bacon and the chicken/pork and continue to simmer until potatoes are done and crispy.

Once it's done, just serve and enjoy!

Try it out and let me know what you think!!!

To do or not to do, that is the question!

Ever wonder why some people can get things done while others just talk about doing them? Too many people can talk the talk, but when it comes down to actually doing something, they tend to shy away from it. Whatever their motivation is, or lack there of, when the rubber meets the road they refuse to do what they need to. "Too much hard work", "Not enough time", "It's too hot", "This is the way that we have always done it!" and so on...

For crying out loud, get those panties out of the knot that they are in and do something! We complain that we don't have enough money to buy equipment that we need, not want, in order to keep us safe (lets say discounted kevlar tactical gloves - $25-$75 depending on what type/style) but then go out and spend over $80 in one day (going out to eat, buying a CD/DVD, doing other things). Worse thing is that they sit back and complain that they are entitled to have whatever they want without having to work for it.

Last time that I checked, the only thing that I am entitled to is a paycheck for the work that I have done. Some people only have 3 speeds: Slower than a molasses IV drip, catatonic and dead. They are the same ones that will complain when someone does what they are supposed to do. They should be ashamed of themselves and not be a hater when someone actually wants to work and their true self comes out...

What do you think?

Are you ready?

Do you know what September is?? No, not the month after August and before October (ok, yeah you're right...but not this time), but its the half-way point during hurricane season. Remember, June 1 - Nov 30 (OK smart aleck....September 15 is the 1/2 mark...you satisfied???)

Do we know for sure that we are not going to get hit with one? Nope! But not all of us are prepared for it either. What supplies do we need to have at hand?

Let's go with the basics:

• Canned food
  
• Bottled water
• First Aid kits
• Emergency Evacuation Plan/Route (hopefully we do't need it though)
• Supplies and food for our pets
• Solar chargers for cellphones and other electronics
• Containers for collecting water
• Anything else that you think that you may need! (Make-up does not count ladies!)

Get together with family members and see if they need any help. Same thing with neighbors. Some of us don't have the luxury to be home during this time due to our professions (yep, we still work in the law enforcement community during these times) so any help that we get from others is ALWAYS greatly appreciated and returned in kind.

We always hope that we don't get hit with one. Just look at the devastation that Irene just left, but we need to make sure that we are ready for anything. Make sure that YOU are!

The Backgate Website: FNG’S are not prepared

The Backgate Website: FNG’S are not prepared: Although I will agree with some points that were brought up in this article, there are some things that I disagree with along with some things that I think need clarification.

"Current training may leave new officers more vulnerable”

· The average officer within months of leaving an academy will be able only to describe how a given suspect-control technique should be used but will have “little ability” to actually apply it effectively in “a dynamic encounter with a defiantly resistant subject.”

Agree. Most new officers will forget the techniques that they were shown, and practiced repeatedly, within a few months of leaving the academy.

Clarification: As they are being trained at the academy, they are told repeatedly that they need to continue to practice the techniques in order to maintain proficiency. The expression "Use it or Lose it" says it all. If you do not practice the technique (use it) you will forget how to apply it when needed (lose it).
·
"At the rate academy and in-service training is typically delivered, it could take the average Corrections Officer up to 45 years to receive the number of hours of training and practice in command-and-control and officer-safety techniques that a young student athlete gets through practice and education in competitive sporting events during the usual high school career."

Agree. It takes an average person 1,000 repetitions for something to become muscle memory and be able to apply it without having to think about it first. See the clarification above as to why it would take so long to achieve that level of proficiency.

"Take into consideration the amount of practice that you do involving your agency response to resistance techniques. If your agency is like mine, that would be about eight hours per year during recertification, at slow speeds, with your partner acting a specific way."

Agree. There is only a limited amount of time that can be dedicated within the training timeline constraints, within ANY agency, to a certain topic. Most agencies throughout the country allot 40 hours a year for in-service training. However, there is nothing stopping a person from practicing on their own in order to improve their technique and get better at it.

"Will you use the techniques properly and as instructed or will you write in your reports that you Attempted the proper agency technique only to have to abandon the maneuver during the restraint and do something else that actually works?"

Here it gets sticky. Almost every agency has a policy that states that you can do anything in order to protect yourself.

Now for the sticky part: Although this may be true, the caveat is that this is a last resort and you MUST attempt what is in policy/training prior to implementing anything else.

The techniques that are taught at the academies do work. However, you must practice in order to maintain your proficiency. They have been simplified from various defensive techniques out there so that the moves are very simple to perform and remember so that the average office can practice this when not at work.

There are numerous officers out there that honestly believe that they can do whatever they want and get away with it by referring to the "policy." And when the rubber meets the road and they have to write their report, they will say that they attempted the technique and had to abandon it for something else when the reality is that they never did attempt the technique. It's called integrity issues...

If we want to improve on the way that we train and the results that we get from the training, we must look at ourselves first before criticizing the training itself. All you have to do is look at the mentality that some officers have when they go to in-service. They just say it's a one week vacation from the unit therefore they don't have to pay attention and do the very bare minimum while they are there.

Remember, when we go to in-service, we are still on the clock. That is our duty post for the week. The same rules apply as when we are on the unit.

We have no one to blame but ourselves when it comes down to our proficiency. Did you know that if you wanted to get some practice with the firearms in order to improve, or just become more familiar with the weapon, all you have to do is call your regional academy range and schedule a time to go? You provide the ammo, they provide the weapon (psst, they will even help you get better if someone is available!)

Same thing applies to many other training topics. All we have to do is call and ask.

There is a reason why approximately 100-120 staff members throughout the state that work for CTSD can serve a population of 40,000? and train them every year. They have a passion for what they do and the 39,880 staff members that they serve is the reason why they go to work every day.

Complacency

Working in the corrections field for over a decade now, it still amazes me to this day how some officers become so complacent throughout their career. Why in the world would you go into a job like the one that we have and become so comfortable with our surroundings?

We say that safety is always on our mind, yet some officers are far from safety conscious in their everyday dealings with offenders. I have seen officers that leave personal belongings laying around where offenders have easy access to them. Others don't pay attention to what is around them. There is a fine line between confidence in doing your job and arrogance that nothing will happen to you. Probably what gets me the most is that when you address it with the officer (and you are the supervisor) some of them tend to get an attitude about the situation. And for those of you thinking about it, yes, sometimes the supervisors are the worst at it for whatever reason...

Within the last couple of months I was faced with an unfortunate situation, not for me, but for the officer that was working the cellblock. We have established procedures for everything that we do. This officer decided to bypass the procedures and as a result, the officer was sliced on the hand by an offender that had been involved in a use of force not even 2 hours before. This offender also has a history of assaulting staff. The only thing that came to mind was that the officer was complacent. This is just one example of the many things that we tend to see every day, and luckily for us, they are not all this serious. It just goes to show what complacency can do for you.

I asked officers working in the correctional facilities in the area why they do not wear any type of kevlar gloves. The answers that I got astonished me. I received answers like "what is that??", "I dunno", "They are too hot", "I don't know where to get them", and other answers along these lines. I also ask them if they honestly believe that nothing will happen to them. The younger officers reply "they are going to mind!" and the older officers say "I know that something can happen, but I have been lucky so far." Some are completely honest and say that they know very well something can happen at any time. Others, however, are all lip service and say one thing and yet their actions are totally opposite to their words.

This does not apply to all officers that are working in our correctional facilities throughout the country, but a good part of them have let complacency take over the way that they do their job on a daily basis. Let's all try to save them before it is too late...

Feel free to either agree with me or disagree. I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

Do you have the right equipment?

Those of us in the Law Enforcement/Corrections community face a multitude of challenges every single day. Some we can control, others we don't. One thing that we can control is the equipment/gear that we utilize every day. Depending on the job at hand, do we have the right equipment/gear to do our job proficiently and efficiently??

What do you think that you need? Well, if you work on your feet all day you may want a good pair of boots that are comfortable. If you work nights or in low light areas, a flashlight is a must! How about gloves? Don't we go searching around in places that most people would not want to put their hands in, or on? After a while we know that we need to replace them since we use them that often. However, I am never surprised at the amount of officers that either seldom replace their gear, or just don't want to buy it in the first place.

Our safety must be first and foremost. If we don't take that into consideration, how can we protect the public and fulfill our primary mission??

Don't wait until it is too late to do what you know is right...

Your Feet Said What???

While working in a correctional facility there is nothing worse than getting home at the end of the day and your feet are screaming at you to get off of them. Working all day on concrete floors while on your feet for 8-16 hours takes a toll on you, not only your feet but also your knees and back. Add to that all the gear that you wear around your waist and it then becomes a chiropractor's dream. I know many officers that have visited a chiropractor at some point in their career. Some of these officers even have them on speed dial and even know their children's names.

Ask around and the officers that rarely, if ever, have sought treatment for back problems will tell you the same thing: invest in a good pair of boots. Regardless of where you purchase them, cost is sometimes, if not always, a factor in our decision of what to buy. There are many manufacturers of good, quality footwear and of course, prices vary. The footwear can range from $40-$110+ depending on the manufacturer and the quality of the boot. Think about it this way: Would you rather spend $1,500 on a used vehicle and then pay $6,000 or more to your local mechanic during the remaining life of the car, or pay $12,000 and not have to worry about repair costs for quite a few years with proper maintenance?

I completely understand that sometimes we can afford to drop $80-$110 on a pair of boots (especially with what we get paid these days) but I rationalized it to myself this way: I can spend $80 on the boots or I can spend $40 on the boots and then all the costs associated with going to the chiropractor and/or Primary Care Physician as a result of the pain? I chose the former. If there is no way that you can afford the cost for the new boots at this time, there are still things that you can do. These can include buying some gel inserts ($6-$10) from your local discount store (they work great!) all the way to being extremely nice to your spouse and hope you get a foot rub at some point.

The best advice that I can give you is the following:

1. Ask around your facility/work area and see what boots fellow coworkers recommend.
2. Figure out your budget and invest in a good pair of boots early on once you can afford it.

 If you take care of your feet, they are bound to take care of you (no matter how ugly they are).

Doing the Right Thing

The true virtue of an individual is the ability to make decisions when everyone else is unwilling to make one. The true testament of an individual is the ability to make a decision that you know is right even when everyone else thinks that you are wrong. (paraphrased from "Every Man a Tiger" by Gen Chuck Horner, USAF Ret.)

HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION:

You see something at work that you know should not have happened. You ask why they did not do what was supposed to be done "by the book." The answer you get is "everyone needs a job." This job is one that requires the highest level of integrity and being able to do the right thing regardless of who is watching. You have mentioned it to your supervisor and the response you get is "don't worry about it. Let them deal with it."

Do you:

1. Buck the system and do what you know is right and "rat" them out, or
2. Let it go and try to play nice with others?

I want to know your thoughts on this...

The Chunky Kid Story

First off, and right up front, I am no so-called fitness or mental health expert. I'm just going to tell you what it is that I have discovered over the years by trials and tribulations. We all know, because studies have shown us as well as the experts telling us, that diets don't work. And what do they do next? They try to sell us on THEIR diet/weight loss plan! Counting this, or adding that, you shouldn't eat this or you should eat that. What is that all about? I have a hard enough time counting as it is without having to take my shoes off as well as my wife's! I will agree on one thing with them though: it is a change in life style that works.

Once upon a time (or as they say in the South, y'all check this out!) I couldn't go out to a club with my friends because they were afraid that if they set their drink down without looking I might walk away with it balanced on my rear end and not even know it. I have worked as a Correctional Officer or as a Police Officer Since 1994 (and for 7 years doing both at the same time) and have realized, as many of us in this profession has, that we need to stay in some type of physical shape in order to do our job. And no, although round is a shape, it's not the one we're looking for here. At some point in our lives we have an epiphany that changes who were are. Some times for the better and some times for the worse. Mine occurred in late 2003.

While working as a Correctional Supervisor at a newly opened prison (approximately 2 months by the time this happened), I responded to a fight in progress at the farthest housing unit at our facility along with 4 other staff members. Now to give you an idea of how far I had to run, from where I was located in the main building to the building we were responding to was approximately 400 yards. I was the first one to get to the outer door to the building. As the door opened up, I held it for all the other responders, not because I was trying to be helpful, but because I couldn't breathe. I was gasping for breath and was totally useless at that point in time. My first thought was a huge reality check: What if it was another officer that was being assaulted and I couldn't do anything about it? That's when I finally got off my lazy rear end and started doing something about the way that I looked.

Motivation to exercise had never really been there for me. Then again, its not really there for many of us to begin with. Of course I thought about going to the gym, or maybe running or anything else that the fitness guru's want us to do. I thought about this all the time, while sitting on my couch eating potato chips or ice cream (there's nothing better than Ben & Jerry's on those depressing days!) I'd stuff myself full of food until I had to undo my pants and get a little extra room in there. Now that I had made my mind up that I needed to do something, I just had to figure out what to do and where to start.

LET THE CHANGE BEGIN!

My great-grandfather was always rail thin. When he passed away in 1986, 6 months shy of turning 100, he was walking almost 1/2 mile every day. I'd watch his plate when my great-grandmother would give it to him and it would not even be 1/2 full. I thought he was nuts for not eating. By the time that he was done eating, he still had food left over on his plate. One day I asked him why he didn't eat everything on his plate (geez, I had to!). He taught me the most important lesson that I had ever learned and I didn't even know it: "Bryan, I eat until I'm not hungry anymore, just not until I'm full." At first I thought he was crazy but after that pint of ice cream in late 2003 it all made sense. Starting the now I'd do what he did.

Now, like many of us that have ever had a membership to the gym, it is completely useless unless you go. Well, remember how I said that the motivation to exercise had never really been there for me? Well it still wasn't there for me. I knew that getting the membership was going to be worthless since I would not be going. Not just because of the lack of motivation, but because of my work schedule. I was working not just as a Correctional Supervisor, but also as a Police Officer on my days off. Add into that a wife and two kids and I just couldn't find the time. I did the next best thing I could think of. I started to not wear my jacket while I was at work. Keep two things in mind: I'm living in Vermont and its winter. Yep, froze my two brain cells off.

As a supervisor, I was required to go check on every housing unit that we had at the facility. At this facility, there were a total of 4 building total that were spread apart. I'd get to work, hang my jacket up and then take the LONG way around checking every housing area. Needless to say, when its 15 degrees outside and the wind is blowing, its COLD. Since I was not raised in this kind of weather, I found myself walking faster getting from point A to point B. Or more precisely, from point A to point D, then B, then C then back to A. I saw that the faster I walked, the faster I'd be warm again when entering the next building. My legs would start to burn from the exercise I never really had and before I knew it, I had lost 45 lbs and gone down from a 42" to a 34" waist. I could breathe again after running.

Now what was I eating to help me get there? Anything I wanted. I have been on diets before and they never worked for me. For me, I always noticed that when I couldn't have something I wanted it even more. And when I did have it, I'd overindulge. They say that 85-97% of all diets fail. It's no wonder, you have to cut out the things you enjoy! No more pasta, mashed potatoes, cake, chocolate, ice cream, etc. Let me tell you something, you tell me I can't have my ice cream, chocolate or cake and I will slap you faster than an OB-GYN with a newborn at childbirth. Those are fighting words my friend. What I did do was moderate myself. I learned the following things: Hershey kisses are individually wrapped; cake comes in smaller sizes than a half pan; and that God invented the ice cream  scoop for a reason.

Exercise is important at every stage in this change. Minor every day changes make all the difference. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Walk the extra 15 parking spots when you go shopping (ever notice the person that's waiting for that car to pull out of the #2 spot is still there when you walk into the store and you parked farther away?) The key to exercise that I have found is doing something that you enjoy doing. More importantly, something that you WILL do again! You have to walk, don't you? You can't go wrong.

Now that the body is better...

Now that my physical well being was taken care of, I needed to get my mental well being taken care of also. Most of us in the Law Enforcement/Corrections know that our divorce rates are far higher than anyone else. No one knows this better than our families. We go to work, have a bad day, come home and snap and the spouse and kids. We refuse to talk to our spouse. We start to distance ourselves. At first you ask us how are day was and we make the fatal mistake to tell you when we've had a bad day. We sometimes don't realize how much you worry about us when we are at work until it is too late. We start to spend more time with people at work because they understand what we are going through. It's not that you don't want to understand, it's just that the things that we go through and see would make your gag reflex go into high gear and force you to run to the bathroom.

You don't want to know that a fellow officer was injured. Or that we were assaulted. Or how close we came to see our final moments on this Earth. You just want to know that we made it home, and more importantly, alive. Due to our inability to communicate effectively with you, aka talk, you start to distance yourselves from us. And so the pattern begins...

The elderly couples that I have spoken with over the years have all told me the same thing: You have to talk if it's going to work. All the divorced officers that I have spoken with have all told me the same thing: they stopped talking and grew apart. There's an old saying that goes "If you don't take care of what you have at home, someone else will." As human beings, we need companionship. Someone that makes us feel needed and wanted. When we don't find it at home, we will find it somewhere else. Not just the officer, but the spouse as well. Who's to blame for this? We are...

Now back to the story...

I was going through a really rough time at work, and at home. I found myself working more and more hours on a daily basis, not because I didn't want to go home, but because we needed the money. My wife believed in a dual income family (that's why I had 2 jobs) and she worked also. I wouldn't talk about anything going on. I kept things bottled up. Things that I had no control over were taking over my life. The stress was starting to become unbearable. I did everything that I could to make it go away. It is now 2006 and I was having a hard time finding reasons to live (that's how bad the stress was and it almost won). I moved from Vermont in an effort to save my marriage (I knew it was a lost cause but we were moving closer to my family also and needed an exit strategy anyway- hey 8 hours away is better than 3 days). I can't blame her for everything that happened. I was just as guilty when it came to the communication. And I needed to find ways to cope with stress.
 
I had never really realized what I had lost throughout all those years. So many days that I didn't see my daughters. So many things I didn't do: put them to bed at night, be there for soccer or softball games, or recitals. So many things that I can't take back or make up for. So now I had another lesson to learn: how to take care of myself mentally.

First lesson learned: You can't do anything about the past. Learn from it and don't make that mistake again, and more importantly, don't let it consume you (stress loves it!)

If you can do something about it, and chose to do it, do it. If it didn't work, try something else. If that still fails,its OK to complain about it.

If you can do something about it, and chose not to, don't bother to complain because you are part of the problem, not the solution.

If you can't do anything about it, LET IT GO! Why let it take over your life if there is nothing you can do to change it? Don't let the stress get to you.

Now that I had learned these lessons the hard way, I was starting to feel much better about myself. It didn't matter that I had had a successful career. My self esteem had been in the gutter and had drowned 3 times over. Not any more. Once my marriage had finally ended I was able to take a step back and see that things were, for the most part, not as bad as I thought they were for me. Oh, my marriage WAS that bad, but me personally? No. She might have been a good woman, but she wasn't a good woman for me. In our profession we find ourselves using different coping mechanisms, both good and bad.

Lets start with the bad ones:

1.  We turn to self destructive behavior. Have you ever had such a bad day at work that you say to yourself "I need a drink!"? We all have (OK, most of us have said it). The difference is whether we have that drink or we choose not to. And if we do, how many do we have? If one turns into either a fifth or a 12-pack, that's not good.
2. Others resort to drug use. Although some go with the "hard stuff," others go with the pain killers. Pill poppers. Medicine cabinet raiders. We fail to realize that stress, although mental, does have some serious physical effects: Chronic pain, high blood pressure, heart disease, just to name a few. Does it make sense that if you are in chronic pain you may go to the doctor and they might prescribe a muscle relaxant? Of course it does. But use can lead to misuse and abuse.
3. We take our frustration out with our families.
4. We choose not to talk therefore starting a downward spiral that is almost impossible to escape from if we don't correct it as soon as it starts.
5. We become involved in self destructive behavior at work. We sabotage other people's work. We become involved in the rumor mill (some people ARE the rumor mill).
6. We call in sick to work therefore forcing others to pick up our work load, which in turn causes them to call in sick.
7.  

Now for the good ones:

1.  We learn to communicate (go figure!).
2. If you are too tired in the morning (or your "morning" for you graveyard folks) when you get up, go to bed 30 minutes earlier. See if that helps.It may just do the trick.
3. Have a routine every night. Doesn't matter if its watching TV, reading a book, listening to the radio, doing a hobby. Its whatever you want that relaxes you! And no, the bottle doesn't count.
4. Become involved in community activities. You would be surprised how much this can help some people. Not just about giving back to the community, but the feeling you get when you have done something for someone else.
5. Exercise! Even though most of us hate the idea of working out, ask someone who does how they feel after they do. They will tell you that they feel great!
6. Find a hobby that you enjoy doing. It doesn't have to cost money for you to enjoy it.
7. LAUGH! The old saying that laughter is the best medicine is so true! Have you never noticed how good you feel when you have laughed so hard you had to go to the bathroom? Exactly my point.

This is one topic of conversation that has been around for years and has been discussed even more. Yet somehow we still can't escape it's grasp. In order for the body to be healthy, the mind must also be healthy. We must learn to communicate. Not just talk, but COMMUNICATE. Listening is the biggest area that we fail in. We have to make the conscience decision to stop talking and start listening if we want to succeed. I learned it the hard way, just as others have. I can only hope that you don't have to.

PS: We may not always show it or say it, but believe me when I tell you that you are the reason why we get up in the morning and come home at night. You are the pillar of our strength when we feel like we have nothing left in us. We may not say that we are hurting inside, but we are. Sometimes terribly. We may seem cold at times, but its not you. Its what we have to see and deal with daily. And finally, and if we haven't said it recently, or enough, WE LOVE YOU!