Sunday, September 25, 2011

How do you know you love your spouse?

So how do you know that you love your spouse? For everyone I guess it's different. For me, it comes down to the following:

  1. The best part of the day is when we go to bed at night and I wrap my arms around her.
  2. A close second is coming home to her, or when she comes home to me.
  3. Waking up next to her in the mornings
  4. I can't stand when I'm not around her
  5. Sitting next to her on the couch even if we are doing nothing
  6. Either laying my head on her lap watching TV or when she lays her head on mine.
  7. Seeing the smile in her eyes when she looks at me
  8. The way I get those butterflies in my stomach when I look at her
  9. Making dinner with her (or any meal)
  10. Holding her hand when out in public
  11. Holding her hand when we are in the car
  12. The way that she lays her head on my shoulder when I'm driving
  13. The way that she touches me
  14. The way that she kisses me (no matter how big or little the kiss is)
  15. Wanting to get up off the couch just to get her something when she says "don't worry, I'll get it in a minute
  16. The way that she starts to make me something to eat when I go to the kitchen and say "I'm in the mood for something" as I'm looking for something
  17. The way that I can't imagine my life without her
  18. Wanting to do anything for her that she wants
  19. Wanting to see her happy and smiling
  20. The way she would do anything that I want
  21. The way I feel when I say I Love You!
  22. And most importantly, the way she makes me feel when she says she loves me...

Any others that you can think of?

I have found that it's the little things in life, and in a relationship, that matter the most. Don't let something, or someone, ever get in the way of your relationship with your spouse. Stand by them and they will stand by you. Don't take them for granted, because if you do, they will not be around much longer.

The three most powerful words a person can say in a relationship are "I LOVE YOU." Don't assume that they know it therefore you stop saying it. Tell them. Show them. Love them...

Friday, September 16, 2011

Do you know what a Leader is?

Ever wonder what a leader really is? The easy answer is "the person that's in charge" or "the boss" although sometimes this is farther from the truth.

Dictionary.com defines a leader as follow:

lead·er

[lee-der] Show IPA
noun
1. a person or thing that leads.
2. a guiding or directing head, as of an army, movement, or political group.

3. Music .
a. a conductor or director, as of an orchestra, band, or chorus.
b. the player at the head of the first violins in an orchestra, the principal cornetist in a band, or the principal soprano in a chorus, to whom any incidental solos are usually assigned.
4. a featured article of trade, especially one offered at a low price to attract customers. Compare loss leader.
5. Journalism .

a. leading article ( def. 1 ) .
b. Also called leading article. British . the principal editorial in a newspaper.


Sounds good, doesn't it? At some point we have all had a "leader" that had no right to be in the position that they are in. They could not lead a pack of hungry lions to a zebra carcass if it was 20 feet away. Yet you have some people that will lead you to the ends of the Earth and back and are not in "the" leadership position.

So, what makes a great leader? Depending on who you ask, or where you look, the answers that you get are varied. One common theme seems to be that they are willing to listen to the people that they work with and help them achieve the success that they want through the goals that they have set for themselves.

A leader should:
  • Take the time to find out how the person is doing and ask what they can do to help the them do their job better. 
  • Get to know who they work with. 
  • Get to know at least 3 things about that person that may not be work related. Ask them "What do you want me to know about yourself?"
  • Check in with them regularly and see if they need help.
  • Be sincere when doing these things. If you fake sincerity, they will know it and you will not achieve the results that you want. IT WILL BACKFIRE!
When a leader truly cares about the people that work with them, they will find that those that "follow" will do so because they want to, not because they have to. A leader will be there for them no matter what. The leader will show them a loyalty that is insurmountable not because of expectations, but because of the desire that comes from deep within them. A true leader will sometimes make the hardest decisions that will affect the "employee" but will explain why the decision was made and not just throw out "Because I'm the boss and I said so." A true leader will have "employees" that will volunteer for the worst assignment possible with a smile on their face because they know the job has to be done. A true leader will get down and dirty with them at the same time so that they never forget where they came from. 

Then again, this is just my opinion....what do you think?

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Where were you?

I left the house around 8:00am to get the materials for a Fire Safety class that I was scheduled to teach at the Southeast State Correctional Facility. When I arrived at the facility, the officer at the gate asked "Did you hear?" I looked at him and said "Hear what?" His reply was one that I will never forget: "A plane just crashed into the World Trade Center!"

The rest of the day went by in a blurr. Between trying to teach a class and watching the news, I don't remember much more. The only thing that I remember is getting home, hugging my wife and holding on to my daughters and not wanting to let them go.

Where were you?

Friday, September 9, 2011

You want decadence?

So I got up this morning thinking to myself that I wanted something great to eat tonight for dinner. I couldn't figure what I wanted. I started looking around the kitchen to see what was available. I'm the kind of person that when it comes down to cooking, I just go with it. A little of this, a little of that and pray that it comes out OK.

After doing a quick recon of my available ingredients, I saw that I had all the makings for one of my favorite dishes (No idea what to call it except damn good even if it's not good for you...according to some people)

Here's what you need:
  • Potatoes (cubed to your desired size)
  • Bacon (as much as you want, or as little...sissy)
  • Italian Seasoning (to taste)
  • Salt/Pepper to taste
  • Garlic (either fresh or minced, your choice)
  • Either Chicken or Pork Chops in either chunks or strips..your choice (works great either one...or both!)
  • Olive Oil
  • BUTTER! (at least 3/4 cup, but preferably 1 cup)
This is what you do:
  1. Slice the bacon into small pieces. Cook over medium heat in a skillet until brown n cruchy...not burnt!
  2. Once bacon is done, remove from the skillet and let it drain a little. DO NOT remove the bacon fat from the skillet! Are you nuts???????
  3. Toss in the chicken or pork  into the skillet with the bacon grease and brown on both sides until almost completely cooked. Remove from skillet and set off to the side with the bacon.
  4. Put the potatoes (still uncooked) in the skillet with all that delicious bacon fat!
  5. Add the butter, Olive Oil (just a small drizzle), salt/pepper (to taste), garlic(the more the better, but its up to you) and Italian Seasoning (to taste) in with the potatoes. Cover  the skillet and turn heat down to medium low. Allow to cook for approximately 12-15 minutes mixing occasionally or until potatoes are almost fork tender.
  6. Add in the bacon and the chicken/pork and continue to simmer until potatoes are done and crispy.
Once it's done, just serve and enjoy!

Try it out and let me know what you think!!!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

To do or not to do, that is the question!

Ever wonder why some people can get things done while others just talk about doing them? Too many people can talk the talk, but when it comes down to actually doing something, they tend to shy away from it. Whatever their motivation is, or lack there of, when the rubber meets the road they refuse to do what they need to. "Too much hard work", "Not enough time", "It's too hot", "This is the way that we have always done it!" and so on...

For crying out loud, get those panties out of the knot that they are in and do something! We complain that we don't have enough money to buy equipment that we need, not want, in order to keep us safe (lets say discounted kevlar tactical gloves - $25-$75 depending on what type/style) but then go out and spend over $80 in one day (going out to eat, buying a CD/DVD, doing other things). Worse thing is that they sit back and complain that they are entitled to have whatever they want without having to work for it.

Last time that I checked, the only thing that I am entitled to is a paycheck for the work that I have done. Some people only have 3 speeds: Slower than a molasses IV drip, catatonic and dead. They are the same ones that will complain when someone does what they are supposed to do. They should be ashamed of themselves and not be a hater when someone actually wants to work and their true self comes out...

What do you think?

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Are you ready?

Do you know what September is?? No, not the month after August and before October (ok, yeah you're right...but not this time), but its the half-way point during hurricane season. Remember, June 1 - Nov 30 (OK smart aleck....September 15 is the 1/2 mark...you satisfied???)

Do we know for sure that we are not going to get hit with one? Nope! But not all of us are prepared for it either. What supplies do we need to have at hand?

Let's go with the basics:
  • Canned food
  • Bottled water
  • First Aid kits
  • Emergency Evacuation Plan/Route (hopefully we do't need it though)
  • Supplies and food for our pets
  • Solar chargers for cellphones and other electronics
  • Containers for collecting water
  • Anything else that you think that you may need! (Make-up does not count ladies!)
Get together with family members and see if they need any help. Same thing with neighbors. Some of us don't have the luxury to be home during this time due to our professions (yep, we still work in the law enforcement community during these times) so any help that we get from others is ALWAYS greatly appreciated and returned in kind.

We always hope that we don't get hit with one. Just look at the devastation that Irene just left, but we need to make sure that we are ready for anything. Make sure that YOU are!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The Backgate Website: FNG’S are not prepared

The Backgate Website: FNG’S are not prepared: Although I will agree with some points that were brought up in this article, there are some things that I disagree with along with some things that I think need clarification.

"Current training may leave new officers more vulnerable”

· The average officer within months of leaving an academy will be able only to describe how a given suspect-control technique should be used but will have “little ability” to actually apply it effectively in “a dynamic encounter with a defiantly resistant subject.”

Agree. Most new officers will forget the techniques that they were shown, and practiced repeatedly, within a few months of leaving the academy.

Clarification: As they are being trained at the academy, they are told repeatedly that they need to continue to practice the techniques in order to maintain proficiency. The expression "Use it or Lose it" says it all. If you do not practice the technique (use it) you will forget how to apply it when needed (lose it).
·
"At the rate academy and in-service training is typically delivered, it could take the average Corrections Officer up to 45 years to receive the number of hours of training and practice in command-and-control and officer-safety techniques that a young student athlete gets through practice and education in competitive sporting events during the usual high school career."

Agree. It takes an average person 1,000 repetitions for something to become muscle memory and be able to apply it without having to think about it first. See the clarification above as to why it would take so long to achieve that level of proficiency.

"Take into consideration the amount of practice that you do involving your agency response to resistance techniques. If your agency is like mine, that would be about eight hours per year during recertification, at slow speeds, with your partner acting a specific way."

Agree. There is only a limited amount of time that can be dedicated within the training timeline constraints, within ANY agency, to a certain topic. Most agencies throughout the country allot 40 hours a year for in-service training. However, there is nothing stopping a person from practicing on their own in order to improve their technique and get better at it.

"Will you use the techniques properly and as instructed or will you write in your reports that you Attempted the proper agency technique only to have to abandon the maneuver during the restraint and do something else that actually works?"

Here it gets sticky. Almost every agency has a policy that states that you can do anything in order to protect yourself.

Now for the sticky part: Although this may be true, the caveat is that this is a last resort and you MUST attempt what is in policy/training prior to implementing anything else.

The techniques that are taught at the academies do work. However, you must practice in order to maintain your proficiency. They have been simplified from various defensive techniques out there so that the moves are very simple to perform and remember so that the average office can practice this when not at work.

There are numerous officers out there that honestly believe that they can do whatever they want and get away with it by referring to the "policy." And when the rubber meets the road and they have to write their report, they will say that they attempted the technique and had to abandon it for something else when the reality is that they never did attempt the technique. It's called integrity issues...

If we want to improve on the way that we train and the results that we get from the training, we must look at ourselves first before criticizing the training itself. All you have to do is look at the mentality that some officers have when they go to in-service. They just say it's a one week vacation from the unit therefore they don't have to pay attention and do the very bare minimum while they are there.

Remember, when we go to in-service, we are still on the clock. That is our duty post for the week. The same rules apply as when we are on the unit.

We have no one to blame but ourselves when it comes down to our proficiency. Did you know that if you wanted to get some practice with the firearms in order to improve, or just become more familiar with the weapon, all you have to do is call your regional academy range and schedule a time to go? You provide the ammo, they provide the weapon (psst, they will even help you get better if someone is available!)

Same thing applies to many other training topics. All we have to do is call and ask.

There is a reason why approximately 100-120 staff members throughout the state that work for CTSD can serve a population of 40,000? and train them every year. They have a passion for what they do and the 39,880 staff members that they serve is the reason why they go to work every day.